I have found that actually TAKING the time to meditate and actually DOING it are two completely separate issues. I have also discovered that hanging onto the JOY that comes with a 20-minute mind exercise is not only fleeting, but difficult to retrieve once you’ve allowed it to slip away.
For reasons that elude me, I always manage to find something else that is in need of doing. Whether it’s chatting with cronies on the Facebook, catching up on Permaculture and other garden videos on YouTube or just minding the house in general, there seems to be a never ending stream of OTHER STUFF that needs attention.
This leaves me feeling scattered, less than organized, and rather irritated with myself for not completing what I set out to do. Even now, I find the little voice in the back of my head is nagging me to hit the shower, get ready for work, return Brian’s e-mail, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera…a never ending flow of brain chatter that drags me in 20 different directions.
It’s frustrating.
Back to the basics it is…I know what it is that brings me JOY. So many things!! How lucky is that? Now to set up a schedule for ME that I can manage without feeling guilty. I’ve come to understand that to SAY I need time for myself and to actually TAKE it are not as easy as I thought. My A-type Synergistic personality keeps stirring up reasons to not do things for myself, but to look after everyone else. And the really funny part? I’m the FIRST person that will tell someone I’m talking to that it’s important they stay true to themselves – If you’re not strong and healthy yourself, you are of no value to someone else. My favorite line – well, I guess it’s time I took my own advice.
