Yet again, daily life has interrupted my personal journey. I am the first one to admit that I tend to put EVERYTHING else ahead of my own personal progress. I like to read quite a bit, and I do find that I tend to get reading, follow a link here or there on a subject of interest and the next thing I know three hours have passed and I’m nearly late for work (AGAIN!). There are people that have labeled this affliction as “Tammy Time”, or relative time, or blamed Grandpa for it (he’s always fashionably late). There’s times that I think there’s actually something wrong with my brain because organization (or lack thereof) seems to be a fleeting thing with me.
I have managed to continue reading bits and pieces of “The Joy Within”. It actually stays in the bathroom (yes, lavatory laureate here) and I re-read bits and pieces of the first chapter over and over. The lessons are actually starting to stick with me now. If I need a moment of peace I can close my eyes and bring into a focus one of the items from my “JOY” list and within a couple of minutes, I feel re-balanced, centered, somewhat peaceful and quite happy.
There’s been a spring cleaning sort of feel in the air, and in digging through papers and associated crap in my home office I found a notebook. Just a spring bound scribbler like school kids carry around. I had completely forgotten it…I had started writing in it just about five years ago. Wow, it’s hard to believe that it’s been THAT long since I made the decision to get happy again…the first entry was dated March 22, 2007. A little over two years after my life took a dramatic turn…and a touch over four years since I’d decided to write about it. Where has the time gone??
I think that’s the organization bug rearing it’s ugly head again. Lack of drive? Lack of interest? I find that I’m learning a great deal about myself in this journey. Not always for the better.
I do try to find the UP side to everything, however, and in this notebook I found another list. “Things that bring me joy” so at this point I’ll add to my original list…Or maybe this IS the original list…
1. the RUSH associated with falling for a new guy (seems rather silly, don’t you think??)
2. Fine things. Fine food, fine fragrances, fine fabrics, fine chocolates.
3. Watching my children smile at little things (at the time of writing the kids were 22, 17 and 16)
4. Feeling like I’m in control.
7. Socks fresh out of the dryer, especially the fluffy, chenille ones.
8. Going for a facial, although this has only happened once.
So, now I suppose its time to organize my lists, make some sense out of them, get the emotions that drove them OUT of my brain and onto paper (or the WWW, as it were) and move on with things.
I suspect there’s going to be more than one category added to this site with all over my varying lists, to-do’s, want-to-do, works in progress and so forth. It rather feels like I’m about to pull the rip-cord on a tornado…